


I don't care what the whispers say (I could never really hear them anyway)

by Harper_Rose



Category: DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Justice League of America (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Barry is the best, Emotional Whump, Family, Hal loves Barry, Jack Jordan is a dick, M/M, love is love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 14:55:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4024108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harper_Rose/pseuds/Harper_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hal's dating Barry. </p><p>And he doesn't care what his big brother has to say about it, so he can kiss his ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't care what the whispers say (I could never really hear them anyway)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is but I like it.
> 
> Edited: 13 October 2017

This was a tremendously bad idea; a horrible idea even. Possibly the worst he had ever had. Okay, _ever_  might be a bit of a stretch but it got the point across, he thought.

The point _being_ that Hal was seriously regretting his decision to embark on this entire evening. He didn't know what had compelled him to come, some delayed sense of familiar responsibility maybe. His brother had called him and insisted he at least show his face, and Hal had always had an awfully hard time telling Jim no. Baby brother and all that. So, there he was. Standing (read: hiding) on Jim's back porch and doing his damned best not to either get blazingly drunk or bolt for his ride he had left parked out front.

If there was one thing his family was great at, it was creating stress. It was like the entirety of the Jordan clan planned these sorts of things out strictly to be big bubbles of concentrated tension. Hal would not be surprised if he were gaining a grey hair by the minute. 

Hal had holed himself up outside not long after having been forced to spend an hour with Mr. Perfect in the excessively festive house. The entire property looked like Ol’ Saint Nick himself had barfed all over it. Susan had put up little Santa Claus and snowmen figurines; paper snowflakes Howie and Jane had cut out were pasted to every window. There was a full Santa’s sled setup on the roof, complete with all ten reindeer plus Rudolph, the nose flashed obnoxiously due to a faulty lightbulb. The whole house was wrapped up in a blanket of hazy red and green. Hal was actually surprised they hadn't splurged for a fake snow machine.

"Quitters," he muttered. 

Hal, slumped against he porch railing, looked up at the string lights that drooped from the gutter, knowing Jim had done his best to nail them up. They gave Hal an odd sense of false security; the green lights.

Hal decided he hated Christmas. He never much cared for it, not since dad had died. And since mom, well, what was the point of pretending anymore? He couldn’t help but wonder what Barry was doing tonight. With Christmas not being for another week he had probably taken Wally into the plaza to see the lights display, or maybe the mall to see Santa or the ice rink. Wally had been begging to go, but Barry had put it off. He wasn't a fan of going out in the holiday shopping chaos. Hal was a little jealous, if he were being entirely honest with himself. He would much rather be spending his weekend at the Allen household than at an early Christmas just so Jim could take his family up north for the real deal.

He shook his head and tugged on his hair in frustration before meandering back into the kitchen. He made a beeline for the refrigerator, snatching a beer and popping the top off. He took one long swig before the door clattered open, revealing Janice and Susan who came swooping in, the sound of some Christmas special the kids were wathing following them in from the other room. Jason, Howie, and Jane came barreling in after them, giggling loudly and shouting, nearly knocking Hal off his feet. They grabbed handfuls of cookies off a dish on the counter before running right back out to the living room.

Hal chuckled and took another swig as Janice shouted after them for running indoors.

Janice narrowed her eyes at Hal, as if just noticing his presence. “Harold!”

Hal winced at the name.

She suddenly smiled. “I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.”

“Just grabbing a drink.” He indicated towards the bottle in his hands.

Susan frowned and then asked, “so what are your Christmas plans Hal? You and Carol up to anything special?”

Hal ducked his head, picking at the label on the bottle. Suddenly feeling a strange bout of nerves. “Carol and I broke up, a while ago actually," he said bluntly. 

Susan looked flustered and a little embarrassed, her cheeks flushing.

“On another one of your off streaks?” Janice asked, a chuckle in her voice. “You two go back and forth so fast you’re giving me whiplash.”

Hal smirked, “I think this is a more permanent split this time 'round.” Carol was engaged and Hal was perfectly happy. 

“Oh?” Susan lightened up at the insinuation. She was clearly reading further into it than he had intended for her to. “Are you… seeing somebody new? Who is she? Do we know her? What’s her name?”

Hal blinked. “What?”

“Is she from here? How did you meet?”

“Swear to god Jordan, if you’re fooling around with another one of my friends, I-”

Hal held his hands out in front of him in a placating gesture. “Whoa, whoa, you two both made it _painfully_ clear that your friends were off-limits.”

Susan rolled her eyes, seemingly exasperated. “Yes, but that was before you became boyfriend material. That was bang-and-bail Hal. This new relationship Hal is completely new to us.” Susan explained it as if it were supposed to be obvious. Hal didn't like the way she was examining him either.

 _Relationship Hal?_ What was that even supposed to mean? Hal hadn't changed that much, surely.

Janice dipped her chin in agreement with her sister-in-law. “It’s almost surreal how much you’ve matured.”

They had no idea.

“Are you sure you’re Hal Jordan and not some alien cyborg double? Or a clone!?”

Hal laughed. “Alien cyborg, Janice? That the best you can come up with?”

She shrugged her shoulders languidly. “Have you seen the news these days?”

Hal laughed and bat her hand away. “Is it really that surprising to you that I’ve _grown up?”_

They nodded and gave a chorus of, “yes."

Hal supposed he deserved that. Still, it kind of hurt.

“Whoever it is you’re seeing,” Janice continued, “she’s obviously been a good influence on you.”

“So when do we get to meet her?”

Hal sputtered.

“Yeah, why didn’t you bring her today?”

"I didn't think-" He stood, practically gaping at the two women in front of him (he’d have to scrape his jaw off the linoleum floor by the end of this conversation) with their arms crossed and looking at him expectantly. Hal hadn’t planned on telling his family about Barry, not yet anyway. Not because he was embarrassed or scared of what they would say or think, although he had to admit there was a bit of anxiety. It just wasn’t any of their damn business if you asked him. So no, Hal had no previous intentions of mentioning Barry, therefore he honestly had no clue what he was thinking at that moment but it must have been along the lines of _fuck it._

“I’m not seeing a _woman_. _”_

Susan frowned and Janice narrowed her eyes in a way that Hal could fully admit was terrifying.

“I’m dating a _guy?”_ Shit, that definitely came out as more of a question. But _really!_ Did she have to squint so damn hard? It was making him squirm and feel all kinds of uncomfortable.

Surprisingly, neither of them reacted how he had anticipated. There was no laughing, no disbelief, no sign of mockery, no disapproval. Only the slightest shade of surprise that tinted the apples of Janice’s cheeks, and the sly grin that was sluggishly growing across Susan’s.

“Oh my  _god,”_ Janice squeaked and clasped her hands over her mouth, bouncing on her toes just a little.

“I knew it,” Susan said more to herself than the room at large.

Hal frowned nonetheless. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He inquired.

“Don’t get that way!” Susan teased. “Remember Gene Mackenzie? Sophomore year? You practically swooned every time he even glanced your way.”

Hal disagreed with chagrin, his cheeks flushing. “I did not!”

Susan scoffed, “oh please.” She rolled her eyes a mumbled. “Coulda had him too.”

“What?”

“Really! With your stupid well fitting jeans and your dumb hair.”

"Are you saying that I was _hot_ in high school, Sue?” Hal laughed, “oh my god!” He nearly bent over with laughter, supporting himself against the counter.

“Shut up, I was fifteen!" She said defensively. "You looked like you'd just walked out of the Breakfast Club."

Janice laughed and placed a hand on their shoulders. “This has been a very enlightening evening. _Anyhow…”_

“Right, right, right!” She waved a hand dismissively. “Back on track. So, you have a boyfriend. Tell us about that!”

“What’s his name?’ Janice asked. Back to bouncing. “Where’d you meet? When did you meet? How long have you been together? Tell us _everything.”_

Hal scrubbed a hand down his face. “Christ, you are not going to let this go are you?”

Janice shook her head, “nuh-uh.”

“At least tell us his name?” Susan looked so hopeful, her hands clasped and her eyes wide. “ _C'mon,_ just a name.”

Hal rubbed the back of his neck, eyeing his beer. “Uh… Barry. His name is Barry.”

“Awe, that’s cute.”

_“Janice.”_

She held her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. _God_. So what now? Are you going to tell Jim and Jack? I'm ninety-eight percent certain Jim'd be cool about it," she said. "You might send him into shock for a while, but he's a laid back guy."

Hal frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea. Look, we haven't been... _together_ long enough to really talk about it. I mean, yeah, his family knows but it's different, I don't think-" Barry's family was composed of an old retired speedster and an adopted toddler, they were far more understanding than Hal's own. 

Janice waved him off. "Totally get it.”

"Really?"

 _"Yes_. Jesus Hal, I'm not a monster. It's all your own business, not mine. We'll lay off."

Hal narrowed his eyes at her, not trusting the vow. "You're so not going to drop this are you?"

They shook their heads in unison.

"Nope! Not at all," Susan confirmed.

"But," Janice started, "we'll give it a rest for the evening." She opened her arms out with an equally wide smile. "It's Christmas -- in a week," she waved a hand dismissively, "you get my point. Season's greetings, the holiday spirit, love thy neighbor, yada, yada. All that cheesy shit!" She sobered up, offering a rare genuine Janice Jordan smile. "My point is, we love you and nothing's gonna change that. Pretty sure your brothers feel the same."

Hal was actually surprised by Janice's little show of emotion -- however brief. It wasn't like her, she was more of the cover her emotions in a show of flippancy and bluster. Hal had always liked that about her. Although, this was nice too. A shit eating grin slowly crept across Hal's face.

"Wow Janice, looks like I'm not the only one who's matured."

She rolled her eyes, "shut up." She turned away, noticed Susan out of the corner of her eye. "You too Susan!"

Susan chucked.

Hal still wasn't on board with the whole let's tell the family deal. There was no way he was telling Jack, he would blow it way out of proportion and make a huge deal of it like he did with everything Hal did. He had a tendency to nitpick all of Hal's actions. 

"Well dinner's almost ready," Susan chimed. Eyeing the timer on the oven. "I'll set things out."

"I'll fetch the boys," Janice said before bounding out of the room.

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, tugging lightly in a nervous habit he'd somehow developed at some point. He watched Susan pull platters from the fridge before moving to help her, taking a tray of deviled-eggs from her hands.

"Thanks Hal."

"Hmm." He helped her set everything out, fetching pitchers of lemonade and ice water (because only in Southern California can you have lemonade in December). "I think I should be thanking you, Susan."

"For what?"

Hal shrugged, "you know. Being so cool about this, about -- you know -- _me."_

Susan sighed, setting a plate of potato salad down with more force than necessary. For anything. "Hal, trust me, this is nothing. You're family and just because you like who you like doesn't change who you are. We love you."

Hal ducked his head. She had a point, he supposed. If it was any of them, he wouldn't feel any different about them either. And really, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. How could anything with Barry be wrong? The guy was an saint!

Hal sighed.

***

Dinner was painful. _Very_ painful. Hal actually considered stabbing himself through the eye with his fork approximately fourteen times throughout the meal. He actually considered stabbing Jack at one point, seeing as that would actually probably solve all his problems.

But anyway, dinner was over now -- the kids had taken off to the back yard to climb around on the sad lopsided swing set Jim had nailed together last summer. Yet the adults remained, and one thing led to another and _somehow_ it got out that Hal was seeing a man.

Janice let it slip.

In her defense she didn't mean to do it, it just _slipped_ out. And Hal would be mad about it, but she seemed genuinely sorry. And Hal always did have a soft spot for Janice.

Susan was half out of the room putting plates in the sink.

Hal kneaded the bridge of his nose with one hand, his head buried in the other and his elbows propped up on the table. He groaned, "Jack give it a rest."

"No, you need to stop this Hal!" Jack leaned forward in his seat, pointing accusingly at Hal.

Hal sat up, arms out wide. "Stop what, Jack!?"

Out of the corner of his eye Hal watched Janice sink down in her seat with a groan, face buried in her small hands. "Hal, I'm so sorry."

"How are you alright with this?" Jack snapped, turning towards his wife. "You know what Hal, you have always been a disappointment and if mom was still alive-"

"Well, you know what Jack, she's not. _So give it a rest."_

"Guys." Jim tried weakly.

 _"Shut up, Jim!"_ The two shouted in unison.

"This isn't even about me being gay is it? You're just mad because in your head this is somehow going to make _you_ look bad and-"

"You are not _gay_ Hal! You've dated plenty of women."

"Oh is that what we're calling it now?" Hal reeled. "I recall that on multiple occasions you referred to them as, and I quote, _'sleazy hookups'."_

Jack grit his teeth. "Either way, you've been into women since junior high."

"No, I've been _in_ women since junior high-"

Janice frowned. "Gross."

Hal scrunched up his nose. "No, scrap that, that's disgusting. My point is, I've always leaned towards men and women I’ve just never said anything. And _this_ , right here, is exactly why! Because you’re an insensitive bastard up on your high horse like you’re better than me!"

_"Hal-"_

"Forget it Jack!" Hal stood, his chair scraping horribly across the wood floor. Without looking back he stormed from the room.

"Way to ruin another Holliday, Hal!" Jack shouted after him.

"Merry _fucking_ Christmas!"

***

Hal sunk in the driver's seat of his car, beating his head against the headrest pathetically. "Son of a bitch," he muttered. With unsteady hands he extracted his cellphone from his pocket.

_"Hello? Hal?"_

He let out a shaky breath. "Hey Bear."

 _"Hal, are you alright? You sound, I don't know,_ off _. Is everything okay?"_

He swallowed. "Uh, yeah." He pinched the bridge of his nose to stem off the pounding in his head. He sighed heavily. "No, no I- I."

 _"Hal?"_ His voice was soft; tender. Everything Hal needed. God he loved him.

Did he really just think that?

He bit his lip and closed his eyes, concentrating on his breathing to calm himself.

_"Where are you?"_

"Wh-what?"

_"Where are you at? I'll come get you."_

Hal shook his head. "No, no I'm okay. I'm just- uh, are you home?" He caved.

_"Yeah, Wally and I just got back from the Garrick's."_

Hal nodded. "Okay. Okay I'm gonna come by."

_"Alright, I'll see you in a bit, yeah?"_

"Yeah, see you Bear." Hal sighed and started the car.

***

"What happened?" Barry asked the second he opened the front door of his quaint neighborhood home.

Hal's shoulders slumped as he plastered a weak smile on his face. He shook his head. "My family happened, Bear. That doesn't really need much more elaborating." Hal slumped past Barry, hands jammed into his pockets. He practically collapsed into a kitchen chair, letting himself relax in the familiar space. Barry's house had become more of a home to him than any place else, especially his own crappy apartment in Coast City. The place was so sterile and bland and he almost always forgot to pay the electric bill so that was a blast. Hell, his mandatory dorm on the Watchtower was more a home to him than that place.

Also, it was actually snowing in Central City, so take that California!

"Where's Wally?"

"In bed," Barry said with a sigh, passing Hal a beer. "Alright, what the hell? I thought you and Jack were doing okay lately." Barry asked, taking a seat on the table next to Hal.

Hal avoided his eyes, focusing on his beer instead, absently picking at the label. "We were doing okay because we weren't even talking. The moment you put us in a room together and he starts dissecting every inch of you. Analytical bastard."

Barry watched the muscles in Hal's jaw clench and unclench reflexively.

"He found out about us, or that I was dating a man anyway." He spoke so quietly it was barely above a whisper. "Janice accidentally let it slip. And, I'm not ashamed of us -- I would never be ashamed of us. I love you Barry and I don't regret a thing about us but-" he broke off with a sound someplace between a sigh and a groan. "But Jack's an ass and I- what?" He looked up at Barry with wide eyes. "What? What did I-?"

A slow smile spread across Barry's face. It was warm and kind and held so much love that Hal couldn't-

Ooooh.

He spoke softly. "You love me?"

Hal flushed before swallowing and nodding dumbly.

Barry grinned, revealing a row of perfect white teeth. "I love you too, Hal."

Hal smirked, leaning in to capture Barry's lips with his. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Barry's. "That's good, cus I sorta professed my feelings for you in front of my entire family."

Barry chuffed. "You're an idiot."

"Merry Christmas."


End file.
